What's in Melaka

This year has been a good year. A year of moulding, of freedom and definitely a year of blessings.

The past few months has been really good. Dolly and Paul came down from Perth and we had a wonderful time catching up and getting to know Paul.

Anyway, since we have been the host to many guest. I would like to list down what are the things to do in Melaka and what to eat so that you can experience Melaka and would wish to come back again.

Samuel and Allyson came down for the weekend to help out in RLM's Thanksgiving Fundraising Dinner event which was held on 31 Oct. The whole of Sat was packed with many things and we hardly had anytime to tour Melaka.

Since both of them are from Penang, the would love to try some chicken rice ball. We went to this restaurant in Melaka Raya (instead of the original at Jonker's cos of the massive crowd) opposite Public Bank. The price is pricey for 3 when the bill came to RM 50plus. The food is ok for tourist. I would prefer to eat at Melaka Baru which is 20 mins away from town which is not convenient to bring our guest since the major attraction is in town itself.

The top dinner place that's a must is TeoChew restaurant at second cross street. You can google it and I would not repeat the same fantastic food they have there. We have been looking for a good Nyonya Restaurant which taste really good. The current ones are too touristy and we the locals do not really like the taste anymore. Hence, after Pae suggested to us Kapitan House, we decided to give it a try. Phew!!!!!! We were blown away with the food. Definitely 2 thumbs up.

When you are in Melaka, the things you really need to see are:

A'Famosa Fort

Clock Tower, Stadhuys,

Jonker Street

Baba House Museum

Cheng Ho Museum

River Boat (nite)

And after all the eating and sight seeing, it is best to go for foot reflexology or body massage.

I tell you, you will have a blast here.

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Wanting a miracle

Well, this blog used to be a place of my ranting as a teenager, then as a student then of my love life...Then now I am married and obviously, I will talk about marriage life.

Marriage has been good and of course there are ups and downs. But the best thing about being in Christ is that, when the goings get tough, the tough kept going. We have been wanting for a baby since the day we tied the knot and settled as husband and wife. I being only 26 has already prepared myself mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

If you are married and wanting a child, I believe you know what I meant. Every month has been an ordeal, waiting for your period due date. When it comes, you will be upset. If it doesn't then you will be so excited if you are one day late and there goes the pregnancy test. When the pregnancy test showed only 1 line instead of 2, your heart falls to the ground in disappointment. Many months I marked my calender on my 1st day of period. I was so tensed up and physco myself into being pregnant. Wow, I wouldnt dare count the numerous pregnancy test I bought and tried.

Disappointment after disappointment. My period had been irregular since I was young, hence I wouldnt really know or be sure that I missed my period or when I am most fertile. After a year, I finally went to the gynae to check. I am thankful that there is nothing wrong with me. Heheh just that my ovaries are not ovulating and the doc said I should be pregnant in 6 months. If not, see him again.

Well, it has been about 7 weeks since I last saw the doc. I seriously feel pregnant and my period is late for 20 days already. I have tested 3 home pregnancy test and it was all negative. Well, I feel like pulling my hair out. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....

Jesus confirmed with me that when every area of my life that is not from Him needs to be broken, then I will get my miracle. Many things has happened since then. My unforgiveness, my pride, and the list go on. Read my woman in progress entry.

Pastor has confirmed that he sense I am a new person. A new beginning. Does that mean I will be having my miracle soon?

I asked hubby recently, "What do you want for your birthday?"
He answered, "A baby."

An answer I didn't expect him to say. I thought he would have wanted a new house, a new car or even a new speaker for the laptop.

I didn't answer. Just a pause from me. How can I give him a baby? It's not even in my means and there is nothing I can do but to trust in Jesus.
I know that in His time, He makes all things beautiful.

And yes, I want to carry a miracle in my womb.
I should be seeing the gynae pretty soon or just do a blood test.

I shall wait upon YOu LORD..
Wait...........

Olio- Rennaissance Melaka

Hubby's birthday was around the corner and wanted to bring him to a special place for dinner.
Since we are from a small historical town, every other restaurant has been visited and most of the hotels buffet are not too great for us to be even tempted to go.

While stopping at the Rennaisance junction when the traffic was Red. Read the advertisement with discount for the birthday person according to his age..I was like WOW, this is a must go place. Called and made the reservation for 5 cos thinking Pae, Mike and Jerry will join us. They all cant make it due and left the two of us.

The place was dim with romantic environment. Feel a bit 'sua ku' with the italian menu. Wow, the price on the menu is suffocating. Literally made me gulp in my throat and for the first time my mental calculator was at work. I was thinking it's ok la.. We will get 39% discount on everyth since hubby is 39. Hehe, I ordered a set menu dinner for one which cost RM 130++ again thinking i will get 39% off. Ordered lasagna and hubby had a wine buffet which cost RM 59++.

We had a candle on our table and were served with fresh oven baked bread. Well, the manager put some olive oil and vinegar and I reckon must be for us to dip the bread in. Wow, such peculiar taste but it was yummy.

Overall, the food was good. Not FANTASTIC but the service is of excellent. The manager surprised my husband with a slice of cake with a candle and they came over to our table to sing a song for him. That really made his day.

This is place is really good for special occasions and I seriously can go back there just for the wine buffet. Only the white wine are chilled and the reds are at room temperature. Hubby finished a bottle and a half of white..

It was definitely a memorable evening..
Blessed birthday baby..:)
May Jesus grant the desires of your heart.

A Woman in Progress

I have not been writing much as I was busy with entertaining guest from China and we went to Genting and KL for 5 days. It was a rather tiring trip.

Well, I would say the main reason is that I dislike penning down unhappy thots. The past 2-3 weeks has been a roller coaster in my emotions and in my spirit. My negativity, my unforgiveness, my overly sensitive spirit, my pride, my ego, my jealousy, my focus on man, and overall my stubbornness has caused me to loose focus and blamed everyone but myself with the things I see unfit and that's happening in my life.

I thank Jesus for being patient with me and every so gracious in my life. Every area need to be dealt before I can move move on to the next spiritual level. My Personal Time (PT) last nite with Ps.Ed has been an eye opener. I never realised I have closed my heart and be such a stubborn mule not to see my weakness. I praise Jesus for the revelations He has given me and the new things he is beginning to do in my life.

I thank Jesus for precious good friends who were there to encourage me, rebuke me, advise me and give me a hard knock when they know I am not in the right mind. Indeed, I am experiencing FREEDOM and Rest. A rest that I have never had all my life.

I am anticipating the new person I am growing to be. As I mentioned in my previous post that there is someth else that needs a breakthrough...I believe I have received the breakthrough.

Wow. Such Revelation. Such NEWness the Lord is allowing me to enjoy.
Indeed, I had been the 100th sheep, Where the shrpherd will abandon the 99 to look just for me.
When he found me, all tired, all lost, all hungy, all dirty from the wandering to unknown and unsafe territory, He put me on his shoulder and take me home to where I belong.

Then He throw a party to celebrate the lost sheep that has been found. WOW..Not even sitting down to nag and scold me for my misbehavior. He CELEBRATED!!!!!!!

Wow such powerful revelation.

A I am woman in progress and I will soar like an EAGLE as my JESUS is leading me there.
WIthout a Shepherd I would be lost. I know He is holding my hand guiding me.

What kinda person are you?

Are you a YESTERDAY person? A Today Person or Tomorrow person?

• The YESTERDAY person lives for yesterday
• The TODAY person lives for today
• The TOMORROW person lives for tomorrow

Well, I used to be a yesterday person and always dwell on what happened in the past.
As I ponder at this point in my life, I realised I am more of a tomorrow person as I
often look forward to what's anticipating me for tomorrow.

Often, each of us have a little bit of this and little bit of that or a mixture. I would say I am 60% Tomorrow and 30 % yesterday and 10% today. We are called to live for TODAY.

Psalm 118:24… This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

This verse is not foreign to many and even the kids in my Children Church knows it. But how many of us truly comprehend this verse. Indeed our days are written on the palm of our Heavenly Father's hands. The Lord has made TODAY just for me. And everything that JESUS made is GOOD!!!!!!..... Read Genesis Chapter 1. Everything that God created is good..

So, let's start rejoicing and be glad for a new day. Instead of dreading to go to work, dreading to meet that client or finish that assignment, REJOICE for the LORD has blessed us with 24 hours a day.

It's a reminder for me to live for TODAY. If I dwell on Yesterday,I will be stuck in history and not look forward to run the race, If I look for TOMORROW, I will miss what Today has to offer. Often, the people around us are not cherished, appreciated or acknowledge as we often do not see what is in front of us at the very moment.

You and I should live for today. Jesus said not to worry about tomorrow. Jesus wants us to live one day at a time trusting Him and Him alone. Jesus says that our tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Every new day is a gift from Jesus to us. We must choose to put the past behind whenever morning breaks.

Morning has broken, like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for the springing fresh from the word

Sweet the rain’s new fall, sunlit from heaven
Like the first dewfall, on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where His feet pass

Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God’s recreation of the new day

(by Eleanor Farjeon)

Mission Trip 19-21 June

The past 5 days in Kota Kinabalu has been a blessed time. The 18 of us from Malacca boarded the Air Asia plane to KK and what a joy to see Paulus and Sis Helga waiting for us outside the airport. We have so many luggages and one van was needed to fit just that. We arrived in Grace Point for lunch and the journey to Terintindon began. The ride for the first 2 hours was good but as we crossed the bridge, the tar road turned to gravel road with stones and dirt. It was a 1 an half hour bumpy ride.

We were welcomed by the pastor and villagers as soon as we stepped off the van. The condition of the village was nice and not as bad as my previous mission trips. They have water and electric and the church was well structured with comfortable musical instruments.

As soon as we had our first meeting, I headed off to put on my clown make-up.
It has been ages since I last make up and I surprised myself that I did a good job despite
no practise for at least 2 years. I told myself, Jesus this is for You. I'm not working but this is Serving you, I want the kids to see a clown for themselves. My usual half an hour makeup time became nearly one hour as I meticulously painted my face.

I was the center of attention and the kids had never seen a clown before. Since I used to work in major shopping malls,kids in the cities are very familiar with clowns. They will request for balloon sculptures whereas the kids in this village has never seen a balloon sculpture before.

The next morning a young boy held on to a inflated balloon like his little treasure. I asked him to give it to me and he refused. I didn't want him to bite and choke on the rubber. I have never seen city kids treasuring an inflated balloon in such a way. My heart melted and I made for him a new one and more kids came.

The kids in the village are warm and waiting to be close to us. Many children hugged me especially the girls and the boys were well behaved. They will listen to instruction and are very much attentive.

The children's Sunday School class rooms are without much facilities and they do not even have a single colour pencil for the children to colour. How I wished I have the money to buy for each child. Nevertheless, I had fun teaching the children Action songs and Acting out skits and mimes for them. I asked who wants to accept Jesus as their Lord and Saviour and all hands up.

We prayed and I commit the kids to JESUS.
Indeed, my mission for the whole weekend was touching the lives of children. I didn't really participated in the adult sessions. The children are running around without any activities and I decided to take out my pump and balloons. I had at least 50 kids surrounding me each wanting a balloon. At least I tried to maintain the quietness for 45 mins.

I enjoyed seeing children singing along with the adult worship and it also saddened me that the kids are not treated as gems. We want to see kids as future leaders and they are the one who will be future leaders and pastors of the church.

What a weekend to commemorate Dino and my first year wedding anniversary. Serving Jesus together is our desire and we are going to serve and worship Him all of our lives. We had a fun time eating and relaxing at Tanjung Aru with the gang. The 2 extra days in Sabah has been a holiday for us both and we enjoyed every moment in Sabah.

Set Free!!!!!

Well, I feel much lighter emotionally and spiritually and not pyhsically yet. HEHEHE
Anyway, yesterday's meeting was fruitful.
It was definitely a time of Restoration and Pastor Ed reminded us that indeed what Judith and I had was a blessing from Jesus. Our friendship is at the verge of breaking or making yesterday nite. We either make it or break it for good.

WE both agreed that we have acted childishly and has allowed the devil to robbed us of our joy, our friendship and has chosen to ignore the hurts and misunderstandings.

We both apologised for hurting each other and choose to accept that we both are imperfect. Judith has expectation on me and I have insecurities with my friendship with her.

We choose to allow the holy spirit to mend in His time and now, it's all settled..

I am liberated..
A closure for me...
Thank you JEsus

Ta da.............

Tonite's the nite where the confrontation and resolvement begins..:)
I will go with an open heart. Will let the Holy Spirit work through me and I will choose to be humble.

To acknowledge my pride, to acknowledge my insecurities, to see that I am imperfect, and shred away all negativity, shred away anger, bitterness, unforgiveness and whatever that is not of Him.

Do I have fear to face what will be thrown at me? Yes... I am human..
Do I know I will be set free? Yes I am confident..Cos I choose to be set free from all this chronic root of bitterness and unforgiveness.. I want to be set free.. I want to soar like an EAGLE.

So today, I choose to forgive.. I choose not to be judgmental. I choose to be open and accept any rebuke. I choose to walk in liberty...in freedom...and to unloose and remove every baggage that I've been carrying for a long time..

Jesus, You are so so good. I know Lord You are incharged..:)
I know You are good..

A Reminisence

The events that unfolded during the weekend was something the Lord has very much prepared me for it. He knows me so well and I was reminded of His love and mercy when someth big is going to happen. He always prepare me in advance, giving me hints, dreams and revelations.

I especially was reminded of the times I was in Cameron Highlands Camp (Camp Cam) years ago. Annette told me this in particular, Elina, you need to let it all go. And shout if you have too, and CRIED it all out. I have enough baggage with me that is dragging and pulling me back to be the woman Jesus wants me to be.

On a particular Sun, when we are to spend quiet time alone the whole day, 3 of us were driven to Boh Tea plantation by Kim Cheng and we were left to SCREAM, CRY, Letting go every thing that has bottled up over the years. IT was REFreshing and I feel light after that. That was how I got to know Chooi Foong and the other girl.

A breakthrough is taking place and I know I'm at the very brim of it. It's anytime from now. Pastor Ed gave me the word of Knowledge during our Retreat in April. The Lord is going to change something and it will hurt. Something needs to be broken so that I can move on a higher level in my spiritual life.I know something big is going to happen..

Well, as the leaders gather for our RLF outings we have each shared our joy, or challenge in serving. Sis Paecy told us to share if we have any ill or negative feelings towards the people gather here, we should settle it in a godly matter. Let the other person know how we truly feel and be transparent towards the others. Judith told me she doesnt like my attitude in delegating ppl. Well, anyway I am often misunderstood and I cannot remember rolling my eyes towards her. She shouted and was being rude to me. Anyway, to cut the story short, it was an uncomfortable nite for all. Judith walked away angrily.

I went home being affected with the whole drama and couldnt sleep the whole nite. I ask Jesus to show me and reveal to me what is the root cause? I need to find the root and settle it once and for all. I realised that the negative feelings she had for me was traced back way before my wedding. One week before my wedding,she didnt wanted to be my bridesmaid and confronted me about being rude to her. Well, more often than not, my intentions was never revealed. What I feel for a particular person was often not justified. I feel I do not get the benefit of doubt for every single actions.

I couldnt sleep last nite as well. I cried hard and long. It hurts to be going through a period of pain, moulding, transforming, healing. Sis Paecy was there for. ADvising me and encouraged me when I am at my lowest point.

I have decided to be humble and forgiving. I have decided to step ahead and to clear the wall between me and Judith. I have choosen what the holy spirit wants me to do.
It's not easy, it's uncomfortable but will choose to take the better path in order to experience my breaktru.

Again, as I cried and think last nite, it's going to be a few more days to my first year anniversary.The devil has been trying his best to make me upset. Causing so much problem and I know that everything happens for a reason and the Lord has prepared me..After every storm there will be a calm. I'm ready Lord to venture into another level. I believe for a blessed marriage, a blessed financial situation, a blessed house we can call our home, a blessed bunch of offsprings and blessed woman.


I have begun to pray and

Gynae visit

Hubby and I have been trying for a baby for nearly a year. (You would have realized if you read the previous posts) We have been believing that Jesus will bless us with a son when the time is right.

I do not have regular period since I was young hence the ability to conceive frustrates me in the beginning when we just got married. I was super paranoid and will stock up on Pregnancy test kit of various brand and shapes when all the results are negative..Only one line instead of the double line which I have very much anticipated. Well after many months of no news, I gave up.

Yesterday I went to the gynae after my period came 2 weeks once for 3 times in a row. I was shocked and decided to visit Dr.Liu, the renounce gynae in Melaka. The wait was terrible even though I went on weekday. Half way through, Dr.Liu had someone on the verge of delivery and he ran over to the Pantai hospital.

I was glad after 1.5 hours of wait, my turn came. Told Dr.Liu my predicament and he asked me to lye down for him to scan. Wow, the first time I look into my system. My womb size was measured about 7cm which is normal and both ovaries looks fine.

Hubby thought I couldn't see the screen and he didn't understood a word that came out of Dr.Liu's mouth, Ovaries, tubes, lining of the uterus wall seems like a foreign language to him. He was worried that he will need to explain to me what the doc said. Much to his relief, I ask the doc a few questions regarding what I saw on the screen..My layer of fats is like 2-3cm THICK. That's FAt man..
:)

Anyway, Dr.Liu said my condition is called Dysfunctional Uterine Bleeding. I google it up and he said its common among women. He prescribed Norcolut for me to take for 21 days. (some form of contraceptive) After that, I should be able to have normal period cycle and he ask me to take Clostilbegyt on my DAy 2 of period. He said I should be able to be pregnant in 3-6 months time. If not hubby must be checked to see whether is he shooting blanks..:)


I am happy to know that there is nothing wrong with me. It's merely hormone imbalance. I went to the doc after 1 year of trying and now, I'm trusting Jesus as He is the best doc. I believe there is no coincident for me to go for check up.

Make Up Course

I signed up yesterday to learn Personal Make up Course from Ambridge Cottage.
Well, they have been my make up artist for a year since my wedding. The best I've
found so far in my little state of Melaka.

I like the personal training lessons given by Agnes...and of course with Eric jumping in to
scare me..He loves to see me ramble my words away when in shock. (melatah)
Yesterday's first lesson was theory where I was introduced with the different tools and make up functions.

The toughest will be the drawing of eye brow on paper. Phew. Spent more than 1 hour after lesson practising and I still havent got the hang of it. Just photocopy the sheets for me to practise again.
Hubby saw me without make up on my face thinking my class has been canceled or someth. Hehehe Men..

Digressing to another event which got me elated, I join the http://www.thebigcameradebate.com and well I join to try to win
a camera worth RM 1500. You would have noticed my blog are deprived of pics thats because my camera failed me over a year ago. Just do not have the cash to get a new one.. I was Shocked, Happy, Surprised, In doubt to see my Post was chosen as the post of the day. Wo hoooo...
I squinted my eyes..(Lately been seeing double visions) To read the comment and to make sure I did infact wrote that..

The topic for the second day was depth of field. "Dept oph pill?Whats that?A foreign language to the Comps which doesnt give isolation to the object as commanded by man. Who's da man now?

Heheheh my comment got chosen..I did posted a few others which I really can't remember..At least I'm in the eligible round..
Hopefully, I can win the camera which I really really really want..
:)

1st Year Anniversary

Wow it's the 2nd week of June already. Can you believe how time just flies through your nose?
Even as I ponder, it is going to be a year to my 1st year wedding anniversary. Dino and I always look at each other whenever we get questions like how do you guys met? Both of us will push each other to tell while the other will just laugh away.

Yeah, it was a funny tale on how 2 people met in the most unlikely place and time. A good friend of mine, then Edmund was going to be ordained to be a pastor. So, a group of us came from Melaka and Singapore to witness this special occasion. Back then, I was still studying in Pg and took the bus down to our headquarters aka bunking place at the Ladies House in Kota Kemuning. (Ami, Judith, Helga, Kizzy and Paulus(not a lady) house.

I arrived a day before the rest and caught up with the gang. There's when I heard they, namely Aunty Girl (Ps.Ed's mum) are planning to match make Ami and a guy name Dino. When I heard that, I laughed as the name Dino was funny. Imagine Ami was disturbed excessiveness by me calling her Mrs.Dinosaur and all that.

The next day, the gang from Melaka came and as Dino walked into the house, I saw a bald man with a thick mustache and I couldnt stop laughing. I was laughing at Ami most of the time...

Dino's story...
As he was walking in, there was this girl whose laughter shook the whole house..laughing hysterically without any apparent reason. There was when he noticed me.

And then, as they said, the rest is history. :)

Today, I am happily married and being married is definitely good. :)
Thank You Jesus for giving me the best man that suits me best.
You know my needs, my wants, my desire and also my biggest dreams.

:)

Passion for Acting

When I was in my primary school, I was in the DRAMA society while my other friends choose girl scouts or language clubs. So I was exposed to acting at a very young age.

Even though I didn't participated much while I was in High School, my life was rather full of drama. So I guess that would complete my resume in my 'acting' career. Kidding.

Then while in F6, I always make the teachers and classmates roared in laughter when I pretended to be 5 of the teachers who taught us in F6. Each had their own characteristic and way of teaching. There, I knew I was a drama queen.

University was a whole lot better when I get to choose a subject to Major and Minor in. I took Film as my major and thought long and hard on what to minor in. I gave psychology a try for one semester and calls it quits after learning some points from Sigmund Freud which caused me to be more confused than ever. Hence, my one subject in acting class 1 was so fun and lured me into minoring in performance arts which I have never regretted.

I took part in plays in church, mission trip, Christian Fellowship and etc.
Now, our church is planning to have a skit and I volunteered with joy.
I hope after a few years of lapsing in hibernating mode, it will rekindle my passion in acting and
drama.

:)

Breakthrough is coming

I decided not to go Singapore after a slow talk with hubby.
We do not have the means at the moment and we are going to
Sabah on the third weekend of June.

Anyway, I had the peace of not going even though I feel a little sad.
I believe Jesus knows best as the worship team needed hubby.
I just found out after I decided not to go.. Jesus timing is perfect.

I am currently planning and practicing for our mission trip to Sabah.
There are many things on my plate and I'm starting to prepare myself
emotionally,spiritually and physically..

Oh did I mention that I am trying to loose weight. I read that obesity
can prevent one of getting pregnant. SO I have to loose 10% of my total
weight to increase my chances of being preggie.

Anyway, I believe Jesus timing is the best. And HE has given me the wisdom
to loose some weight and exercising has becoming easier..

Hubby lost a lot of weight, and he is my so called trainer.
Watched too much of Biggest Loser..

I sensed a breakthrough is going to happen sooon..
I waiting Lord..:)

Worship in New Creation Church Singapore

Hubby had the desired to take a drive somewhere. He said let's take a drive to KL. I said sure!!! Me being the one who loves traveling leapt with joy. And my brains starts working out where should we go and what should we do. WE decided to visit Adeline and her family and all is set. There was a miscommunication with Adeline as she tot we were going last weekend as we are only going on the next. However, the changed of plan paved way to the drive down south instead.

I said."Ok, let's go to Singapore. I want to visit New Creation Church. The last I went was more than 6 years ago."

Hubby was reluctant as the Singapore Dollar exchange rate is crazily high. (S$2.43)
HE told me he doesnt have any cash to bring me. We can always go another time.

BUT I WANT TO GO, YOU SAID U WANT TO TAKE A DRIVE.. NOW WE CANT GO?!!!!!!!!!!
I shrieked like a 5 year old child. I stomped away angrily, not talking to hubby for at least a day.

"I'm sorry I can't bring you. I'm sad to see you sad," Hubby was apologetic.

There I go, with my WALL as high and wide as the WALL OF CHINA. I didn't even looked at hubby, and never mentioned a word. Just in my own ANGER, DISAPPOINTMENT, with Hubby, with myself..with GOD.

Lord, WHY are we still in LACK? WHY WHY WHY?????
I am supposed to live and enjoy abundant life. WHY WHY WHY?
A simple thing like going to SG can turn so ugly. And I question myself and Jesus..

I got a simple answer, "What can you ask more? A husband who loves JESUS."
There was no reply from me. I just have to be patient.

It was sad and frustrating. And its the same for hubby, I can see it on his face.

YET, I am a MULE..Stubborn headed. I am still wanting to go..
I want to receive from JESUS in NCC.

Jesus is my provider.!!!

In a blink of an eye

Recently, been meeting up with schoolmates and also friends whom I was closed to during my younger days. During the meet-ups and chatters, half the things they mentioned seem to slip off my mind and it took me some time to recall the incident.

June told me last weekend, "Elina, on my 18th bday, you cycled to my house and we went to the park. You thanked me for bringing you to Christian camps and never stop encouraging you about Jesus. I will never forget that day."

I looked at her with the puzzled look on my face. I said I truly can't remember that.

Another good friend, Gary who said I was not there for him when he needed me most during the
split with his gf. I said really? I didn't know that I will be a stumbling block to people who are around me.

It saddens me to know that I wasn't there for him when he needed me most. After some self searching I realised that this memory lapsed of mine has begun at the tender age of 9 where I will mentally and emotionally block incidents, people that has hurt me in one way or another.

Even today, I cannot remember what have I done last 2 weeks but I will need a few minutes to search my memory bank to recall what has happened. This emotions makes me feel lost, unconnected to the outside word.

I feel like having autism which is self inflicted. The wall that I have built over the years has not only cost many good friendships, it has definitely separated me from the people who truly cares and loves me. Now, I am basically living in my own world. Where I will sleep through the challenges that come my way.

A breakthrough is needed in my life right now. Jesus told me, a breakthrough will happen soon and there is going to be pain. Where everyth that is not of Him will be shattered into pieces.

I am waiting Lord. Give me the strength and courage when this breakthrough happens.
I know I can trust in a GOD who loves me to bits and a Father who knows me before I was in formed in my mother's womb.

I surrender Lord, all of me, my past, my present and my future.

What a YEAR!!!!! 2008

Wow.. That's the word to sum up 2008.
It has been a year of ups and downs. Breakthroughs, Miracles, Healing and so much more.
21 June 2008 was when I was officially married to Dino Felix. So now u can call me Mrs. Felix.. Hehehe Just joking.

As I tell many couples who plans to tie the knot and answering those who asked me how is married life? I would say, IT IS GOOD. It is good to be married and really, one of the best decision I've ever made in my life. Of course prior to getting married, I do get the jitters as in did I make the right choice? and Am I marrying too young? Many fiery darts have came our way to stop us from getting married. Poison letters to my parents and all that. Well, the bible said that 10000 may die on ur right and 1ooo may fall on ur right, but it shall not come near you. What a promise!! That's what I belived and experienced.

2008 also was the year we live together as husband and wife. Building our small and humble home together. Jesus is truly amazing, when He truly healed me from all emotional wounds and made me a better woman today.

We had our first Christmas tree together. Just a simple wish in my heart. How nice it would be if I have a tree glittering away in my hse. There!!!! Just a small whisper and I soon forgot about it drowning my thoughts with excuses and reasons, we are out of budget and so on and so forth. My husband surprised me with a tree the next day. Well, Jesus is good we got the tree and all the ornaments for free. How my Abba loves me...:) Thank you JEsus.

Hehehe this was the year that my cooking skills were put to test. My husband has been telling me that my cooking has improved over the months, so being the ambitious me, we invited 3 different groups of friends over to ur hse for luncheons and dinners. It was all good. All praise me for the culinary skills which I;ve adapted from Jamie Oliver's recipe..hehehe..

Towards the end of 2008, Jesus did something for a good friend which I know through my own strength I duno how to help him. But Jesus used me and my husband to pray with and for my brother and friend Samuel. How he is so precious to Jesus... The last week of December 08 was spent seeing how Jesus does speak and transform a live. Our Father who never leave us or forsake us. What a revelation. We witness ourselves how Jesus still performs miracles today.
:)

Im looking forward to 2009. A year we awaits to be pregnant with Asher.
A year of change and prosperity..A year of overflowing... A year I'm entering with such joy and gladness knowing I have my Father wacthing over me..

I'm highly favoured, deeply loved and greatly blessed.