Wanting a miracle

Well, this blog used to be a place of my ranting as a teenager, then as a student then of my love life...Then now I am married and obviously, I will talk about marriage life.

Marriage has been good and of course there are ups and downs. But the best thing about being in Christ is that, when the goings get tough, the tough kept going. We have been wanting for a baby since the day we tied the knot and settled as husband and wife. I being only 26 has already prepared myself mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

If you are married and wanting a child, I believe you know what I meant. Every month has been an ordeal, waiting for your period due date. When it comes, you will be upset. If it doesn't then you will be so excited if you are one day late and there goes the pregnancy test. When the pregnancy test showed only 1 line instead of 2, your heart falls to the ground in disappointment. Many months I marked my calender on my 1st day of period. I was so tensed up and physco myself into being pregnant. Wow, I wouldnt dare count the numerous pregnancy test I bought and tried.

Disappointment after disappointment. My period had been irregular since I was young, hence I wouldnt really know or be sure that I missed my period or when I am most fertile. After a year, I finally went to the gynae to check. I am thankful that there is nothing wrong with me. Heheh just that my ovaries are not ovulating and the doc said I should be pregnant in 6 months. If not, see him again.

Well, it has been about 7 weeks since I last saw the doc. I seriously feel pregnant and my period is late for 20 days already. I have tested 3 home pregnancy test and it was all negative. Well, I feel like pulling my hair out. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....

Jesus confirmed with me that when every area of my life that is not from Him needs to be broken, then I will get my miracle. Many things has happened since then. My unforgiveness, my pride, and the list go on. Read my woman in progress entry.

Pastor has confirmed that he sense I am a new person. A new beginning. Does that mean I will be having my miracle soon?

I asked hubby recently, "What do you want for your birthday?"
He answered, "A baby."

An answer I didn't expect him to say. I thought he would have wanted a new house, a new car or even a new speaker for the laptop.

I didn't answer. Just a pause from me. How can I give him a baby? It's not even in my means and there is nothing I can do but to trust in Jesus.
I know that in His time, He makes all things beautiful.

And yes, I want to carry a miracle in my womb.
I should be seeing the gynae pretty soon or just do a blood test.

I shall wait upon YOu LORD..
Wait...........