"My life is brilliant. My love is pure. I saw an angel. Of that I'm sure. "
This song is playing in my head as I type away on this old Pentium @ acer laptop. I am in a happy mood but my body ache. Hehhee,just told my woman boss that this will be my last day. As I am not interested to work anymore..
HE didnt call and neither did I. I really think that he is not going to call me anytime soonn...
Sigh....happy n upset at the same time. Sigh..Sound so lame..
Friday, May 26, 2006
Thursday, May 25, 2006
More rants
Many times I have tried stealing some time away to pen down my thoughts on this blog. I know that hardly anyone reads them but its more of a journal that I can retrieve anytime I want,provided this website doesnt shut down.
Something happened yesterday that was unforgettable. My first time taking the ferry over to Tev's place riding a bike. Had a pleasant conversation with an Uncle whose motor is just next to me. He has indirectly distracted me from the dizziness and nauseaness from the ferry ride.
Had our fav vegetarian 'chu cha' in Chai Leng Park and went for a walk in Carrefour. Checking out some Sony Ericson phone and I still like750i....Sigh.....when will it be in my hands?
Found out something that I never knew yesterday hurt me a lot. With people that I regard friendly, actually are the ones that such comments will come out from their mouth. Even though it has been a long time ago,it still affected me. I chose to rationalize the reason for him to say that and tried to console myself.
Nothing is more shocking to find out that actually a very trusted friend didnt believe in you in the first place. Telling you lies in order to physco you so you will come out of the pitt of depression doesnt help at all when you actually know its not sincere and a Lie is still a lie..
Argh...i cant think rationaly, I really cant.
Help me to see that things are different now. That all the things he said has a reason..I am so upset..
Something happened yesterday that was unforgettable. My first time taking the ferry over to Tev's place riding a bike. Had a pleasant conversation with an Uncle whose motor is just next to me. He has indirectly distracted me from the dizziness and nauseaness from the ferry ride.
Had our fav vegetarian 'chu cha' in Chai Leng Park and went for a walk in Carrefour. Checking out some Sony Ericson phone and I still like750i....Sigh.....when will it be in my hands?
Found out something that I never knew yesterday hurt me a lot. With people that I regard friendly, actually are the ones that such comments will come out from their mouth. Even though it has been a long time ago,it still affected me. I chose to rationalize the reason for him to say that and tried to console myself.
Nothing is more shocking to find out that actually a very trusted friend didnt believe in you in the first place. Telling you lies in order to physco you so you will come out of the pitt of depression doesnt help at all when you actually know its not sincere and a Lie is still a lie..
Argh...i cant think rationaly, I really cant.
Help me to see that things are different now. That all the things he said has a reason..I am so upset..
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Being touched
I had an exhausted week. Had a long conversation with Tev last nite. Was so exhauted and can barely open my eyes. Was feeling really down and stressed due to so many things that has been going on.
From rushing from one place to the other to find the possible trigger and problems. I was merely expressing my concern and fears about somethings. Tev couldnt understand and giving me some solution, telling me to backup on certain things. I think I am just as confused and afraid of my actions and thoughts. Not sure what is right or wrong anymore.
He was very frustrated with me not telling him and is very worried with me. He doesnt want me to have any added pressure. I simply want him to listen to my rant rather than giving me a solution. Well, I feel very touched with his concern and I sense his genuinity. DEspite that, I fail to express what are the things that i fear and what I feel to him. I simply cant tell not because I dont want too...but rather just cant to translate my feelings into words.
At the end of the day, i shut my eyes knowing I am loved and cared, but on the other hand, i feel shitty knowing someone will wonder bout my troubles and not able to concentrate on the things at hand. Sorry Tev. I know u wont be reading this. Want to tell you this anyway...Thank you for caring for me..
From rushing from one place to the other to find the possible trigger and problems. I was merely expressing my concern and fears about somethings. Tev couldnt understand and giving me some solution, telling me to backup on certain things. I think I am just as confused and afraid of my actions and thoughts. Not sure what is right or wrong anymore.
He was very frustrated with me not telling him and is very worried with me. He doesnt want me to have any added pressure. I simply want him to listen to my rant rather than giving me a solution. Well, I feel very touched with his concern and I sense his genuinity. DEspite that, I fail to express what are the things that i fear and what I feel to him. I simply cant tell not because I dont want too...but rather just cant to translate my feelings into words.
At the end of the day, i shut my eyes knowing I am loved and cared, but on the other hand, i feel shitty knowing someone will wonder bout my troubles and not able to concentrate on the things at hand. Sorry Tev. I know u wont be reading this. Want to tell you this anyway...Thank you for caring for me..
Being touched
I had an exhausted week. Had a long conversation with Tev last nite. Was so exhauted and can barely open my eyes. Was feeling really down and stressed due to so many things that has been going on.
From rushing from one place to the other to find the possible trigger and problems. I was merely expressing my concern and fears about somethings. Tev couldnt understand and giving me some solution, telling me to backup on certain things. I think I am just as confused and afraid of my actions and thoughts. Not sure what is right or wrong anymore.
He was very frustrated with me not telling him and is very worried with me. He doesnt want me to have any added pressure. I simply want him to listen to my rant rather than giving me a solution. Well, I feel very touched with his concern and I sense his genuinity. DEspite that, I fail to express what are the things that i fear and what I feel to him. I simply cant tell not because I dont want too...but rather just cant to translate my feelings into words.
At the end of the day, i shut my eyes knowing I am loved and cared, but on the other hand, i feel shitty knowing someone will wonder bout my troubles and not able to concentrate on the things at hand. Sorry Tev. I know u wont be reading this. Want to tell you this anyway...Thank you for caring for me..
From rushing from one place to the other to find the possible trigger and problems. I was merely expressing my concern and fears about somethings. Tev couldnt understand and giving me some solution, telling me to backup on certain things. I think I am just as confused and afraid of my actions and thoughts. Not sure what is right or wrong anymore.
He was very frustrated with me not telling him and is very worried with me. He doesnt want me to have any added pressure. I simply want him to listen to my rant rather than giving me a solution. Well, I feel very touched with his concern and I sense his genuinity. DEspite that, I fail to express what are the things that i fear and what I feel to him. I simply cant tell not because I dont want too...but rather just cant to translate my feelings into words.
At the end of the day, i shut my eyes knowing I am loved and cared, but on the other hand, i feel shitty knowing someone will wonder bout my troubles and not able to concentrate on the things at hand. Sorry Tev. I know u wont be reading this. Want to tell you this anyway...Thank you for caring for me..
Friday, May 19, 2006
At the wrong place n time
Everything happens for a reason.Its ironic that you happenned to be there at the right time and seems to get involve in things which you will rather not. Hmm, not sure the timing is so right that I now acts as the medium for a lot of information.
This whole week has been really tiring and frustating. For starters, the earliest I get to sleep is past midnite. Have alwayst been a late sleeper but due to my internship, my working hours are freaking long. 9-6pm. By the time you reach home and past through the massive jam, you will be physically and emotionally worn out.
Been seeing Tevan nearly everyday because of a friend whom we are all concerned for.Sigh, at the moment, we are feeling so helpless at the moment. Hmmm, I pray that everything will work out fine.
Stressed up.
This whole week has been really tiring and frustating. For starters, the earliest I get to sleep is past midnite. Have alwayst been a late sleeper but due to my internship, my working hours are freaking long. 9-6pm. By the time you reach home and past through the massive jam, you will be physically and emotionally worn out.
Been seeing Tevan nearly everyday because of a friend whom we are all concerned for.Sigh, at the moment, we are feeling so helpless at the moment. Hmmm, I pray that everything will work out fine.
Stressed up.
At the wrong place n time
Everything happens for a reason.Its ironic that you happenned to be there at the right time and seems to get involve in things which you will rather not. Hmm, not sure the timing is so right that I now acts as the medium for a lot of information.
This whole week has been really tiring and frustating. For starters, the earliest I get to sleep is past midnite. Have alwayst been a late sleeper but due to my internship, my working hours are freaking long. 9-6pm. By the time you reach home and past through the massive jam, you will be physically and emotionally worn out.
Been seeing Tevan nearly everyday because of a friend whom we are all concerned for.Sigh, at the moment, we are feeling so helpless at the moment. Hmmm, I pray that everything will work out fine.
Stressed up.
This whole week has been really tiring and frustating. For starters, the earliest I get to sleep is past midnite. Have alwayst been a late sleeper but due to my internship, my working hours are freaking long. 9-6pm. By the time you reach home and past through the massive jam, you will be physically and emotionally worn out.
Been seeing Tevan nearly everyday because of a friend whom we are all concerned for.Sigh, at the moment, we are feeling so helpless at the moment. Hmmm, I pray that everything will work out fine.
Stressed up.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Dying Trades
Today marks the 3rd day of my internship in Intact Communications, a magazine publishing house in Penang. My MA does not require me to do industrial training. Being the so called Responsible Malaysia youth who shouldnt be 'lepaking' around and to spend my semester break 'wisely',here I am as an intern to write for the magazine. Initially, I wanted to do design but it was not advisable as I do not have any design background.
Well, my first assignment was to write on Thai massage. My supervisor,aka ex housemates,Cheryl has edited my piece for more than 3 times already. Hahaha, for a beginner I dont think I did that bad la..
Something happened to a friend recently and I am quite upset about it. I hope he manages to get out of the depression.
Went out for interviews and in search of the dying trade of Penang. Managed to interview the traditional songkok maker. The traditional goldsmith and latern maker wanted me to come back next week.
My job here is getting exciting. Hahaha, at least I do not dread to come to work so much..
Been some time since I last blog...Just realised my title was Finding the Writer in me. Hopefully, by the end of this training, I will be able to write better...
:)
Well, my first assignment was to write on Thai massage. My supervisor,aka ex housemates,Cheryl has edited my piece for more than 3 times already. Hahaha, for a beginner I dont think I did that bad la..
Something happened to a friend recently and I am quite upset about it. I hope he manages to get out of the depression.
Went out for interviews and in search of the dying trade of Penang. Managed to interview the traditional songkok maker. The traditional goldsmith and latern maker wanted me to come back next week.
My job here is getting exciting. Hahaha, at least I do not dread to come to work so much..
Been some time since I last blog...Just realised my title was Finding the Writer in me. Hopefully, by the end of this training, I will be able to write better...
:)
Saturday, April 15, 2006
What's Wrong With Me?
Lately, I have been getting lotsa comments on my age. Well, it all started when I accompanied my ex-teacher aka goodfriend to a chinese dinner with his other friends a few months back. Well, as we exchanged the usual formalities of introduction, and as the chinese cuisine was being served, the uncle or the some doctor working in Pantai Hospital asked me,
"So Elina, what are you doing now? Which form are you in?"
Dressed in a pink sun dress, I confidently said, "Oh, I am currently doing my Masters in USM."
His expression turned shocked as he was pouring the Chinese tea from the little tea pot. "Huh!!" he uttered. "I thought you in Form 3. You looked so young."
I flushed. I didnt know to take his remark as a compliment or an insult. I looked like a KID!!!!! Argh....
Well, the I brushed off the episode with the excuse that this senile old surgeon with thick glasses must have suffered serious cornea problem.
Just last week, I took my Samsung hp to the service centre for some repair. Well, the girl behind the counter took my name, ic and address. She was like, "Oh, you are from Melaka?"
I simply smiled and said, "Yeah. I am studying here."
Our kay-poh friend probe further. "Oh, which secondary school are you in?"
I replied as a matter of factly, "I am studying in USM." with my eye spying on whatever information she is scribbling on some form.
"Oh, you in your first year?"
I said, "No. I am doing my Masters."
"You look so young." She stopped writing and looked up at me. "You have baby face."
I am not sure whether is she putting her words nicely whereas to say, you have chubby or round face.
With that statement, I went all the way home to change into something more feminine and mature.
With the intention of cutting my hair, I went to a Salon in Prangin Mall. As the kady washes my hair, we exchanges small talk like what kinda shampoo are you currently using? (She is trying to get me to buy some expensive shampoo)
"How old are you?" she asked while giving my scalp a good scracth and massaging my head.
"24," I answered while my fingers flipping through some glossy female magazines.
"Oh, you looked so young. I thought you are like in your teens. the oldest also 20"
I just smiled...and in my head was like... WTF s wrong with everyone? Or was it just me?
When the creative hairstylist came over, I told him to give me a new hair style...
And hence, after an hour sitting down there with him cutting and cropping my long hair...Now, I have less than shoulder length hair..
With the image that stares back at me, I now look like a 15 year old girl, I just need to put on the blue uniform....and trust me....I look 15 without a doubt..:)
Now I look more like my mum in my short hair...
"So Elina, what are you doing now? Which form are you in?"
Dressed in a pink sun dress, I confidently said, "Oh, I am currently doing my Masters in USM."
His expression turned shocked as he was pouring the Chinese tea from the little tea pot. "Huh!!" he uttered. "I thought you in Form 3. You looked so young."
I flushed. I didnt know to take his remark as a compliment or an insult. I looked like a KID!!!!! Argh....
Well, the I brushed off the episode with the excuse that this senile old surgeon with thick glasses must have suffered serious cornea problem.
Just last week, I took my Samsung hp to the service centre for some repair. Well, the girl behind the counter took my name, ic and address. She was like, "Oh, you are from Melaka?"
I simply smiled and said, "Yeah. I am studying here."
Our kay-poh friend probe further. "Oh, which secondary school are you in?"
I replied as a matter of factly, "I am studying in USM." with my eye spying on whatever information she is scribbling on some form.
"Oh, you in your first year?"
I said, "No. I am doing my Masters."
"You look so young." She stopped writing and looked up at me. "You have baby face."
I am not sure whether is she putting her words nicely whereas to say, you have chubby or round face.
With that statement, I went all the way home to change into something more feminine and mature.
With the intention of cutting my hair, I went to a Salon in Prangin Mall. As the kady washes my hair, we exchanges small talk like what kinda shampoo are you currently using? (She is trying to get me to buy some expensive shampoo)
"How old are you?" she asked while giving my scalp a good scracth and massaging my head.
"24," I answered while my fingers flipping through some glossy female magazines.
"Oh, you looked so young. I thought you are like in your teens. the oldest also 20"
I just smiled...and in my head was like... WTF s wrong with everyone? Or was it just me?
When the creative hairstylist came over, I told him to give me a new hair style...
And hence, after an hour sitting down there with him cutting and cropping my long hair...Now, I have less than shoulder length hair..
With the image that stares back at me, I now look like a 15 year old girl, I just need to put on the blue uniform....and trust me....I look 15 without a doubt..:)
Now I look more like my mum in my short hair...
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Sitting in Se Ra's Room
Se Ra is my 12 year old Korean student. She has been here for about 7 months and has been attending Dalat International School here in Penang. I started teaching her English just 3 weeks ago but 4 hours per session and 3 times a week. At first teaching 3 hours in a row is crazy and now I am enjoying it. All my creativity is squeezed out of me so both she and I wont get bored with each other. Yesterday we made Jumucpap, a Korean delicacy which is like rice balls. Currently she is lying on her bed writing an essay on the steps of making the dish..Hehehe, here I am blogging away with my borrowed laptop. (She is complaining that I am mean cos I asked her to write the steps of making the dish..)She just glared at me..:) and whined.. Hmm, having a laptop is so convenient. Anyone reading this and wants to get me a birthday, an obvious hint for you. Yeah, she is now saying she is having headache..(Hahahhaa, excuses) Yeah, my last day of teaching her. A hectic day is waiting for me today, after tuition I have group discussion for my Film production and later 2 more appointments and one more tuition at 8pm...Hmm, at least tomorrow I am more freee.... Cant wait to go back to Melaka.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Its 2006!!!!!
How 2005 came and gone...
I know this is a late entry...
I have been so busy that I hardly have the time to sit down and blog.
Well, 2006 has started on the rite note een though it has been a tiring and roller coaster ride for me emotionally and spiritually throughout 2005..
I am glad I started with the Author of my life. I have been gaining so much experience this month alone..I gained experienced with teaching Se Ra a 12 year old Korean girl. At first, teaching 4 hours of English straight was definately a chore and difficult.
Now, I enjoy my 4 hours with her and its sad that tomorrow will be my last day.
Hmm, promised her a gift if she get all correct for her english spelling tomorrow..
Aww..I miss her already..
Well, wat else, oh yeah, I did clowning for Digi roadshow.3 days in a row. Damn tiring but was a good experience. How to talk to the kids and physco them.,..hahaha
I know this is a late entry...
I have been so busy that I hardly have the time to sit down and blog.
Well, 2006 has started on the rite note een though it has been a tiring and roller coaster ride for me emotionally and spiritually throughout 2005..
I am glad I started with the Author of my life. I have been gaining so much experience this month alone..I gained experienced with teaching Se Ra a 12 year old Korean girl. At first, teaching 4 hours of English straight was definately a chore and difficult.
Now, I enjoy my 4 hours with her and its sad that tomorrow will be my last day.
Hmm, promised her a gift if she get all correct for her english spelling tomorrow..
Aww..I miss her already..
Well, wat else, oh yeah, I did clowning for Digi roadshow.3 days in a row. Damn tiring but was a good experience. How to talk to the kids and physco them.,..hahaha
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