Saturday, May 20, 2006

Being touched

I had an exhausted week. Had a long conversation with Tev last nite. Was so exhauted and can barely open my eyes. Was feeling really down and stressed due to so many things that has been going on.

From rushing from one place to the other to find the possible trigger and problems. I was merely expressing my concern and fears about somethings. Tev couldnt understand and giving me some solution, telling me to backup on certain things. I think I am just as confused and afraid of my actions and thoughts. Not sure what is right or wrong anymore.

He was very frustrated with me not telling him and is very worried with me. He doesnt want me to have any added pressure. I simply want him to listen to my rant rather than giving me a solution. Well, I feel very touched with his concern and I sense his genuinity. DEspite that, I fail to express what are the things that i fear and what I feel to him. I simply cant tell not because I dont want too...but rather just cant to translate my feelings into words.

At the end of the day, i shut my eyes knowing I am loved and cared, but on the other hand, i feel shitty knowing someone will wonder bout my troubles and not able to concentrate on the things at hand. Sorry Tev. I know u wont be reading this. Want to tell you this anyway...Thank you for caring for me..

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