"My life is brilliant. My love is pure. I saw an angel. Of that I'm sure. "
This song is playing in my head as I type away on this old Pentium @ acer laptop. I am in a happy mood but my body ache. Hehhee,just told my woman boss that this will be my last day. As I am not interested to work anymore..
HE didnt call and neither did I. I really think that he is not going to call me anytime soonn...
Sigh....happy n upset at the same time. Sigh..Sound so lame..
Friday, May 26, 2006
Thursday, May 25, 2006
More rants
Many times I have tried stealing some time away to pen down my thoughts on this blog. I know that hardly anyone reads them but its more of a journal that I can retrieve anytime I want,provided this website doesnt shut down.
Something happened yesterday that was unforgettable. My first time taking the ferry over to Tev's place riding a bike. Had a pleasant conversation with an Uncle whose motor is just next to me. He has indirectly distracted me from the dizziness and nauseaness from the ferry ride.
Had our fav vegetarian 'chu cha' in Chai Leng Park and went for a walk in Carrefour. Checking out some Sony Ericson phone and I still like750i....Sigh.....when will it be in my hands?
Found out something that I never knew yesterday hurt me a lot. With people that I regard friendly, actually are the ones that such comments will come out from their mouth. Even though it has been a long time ago,it still affected me. I chose to rationalize the reason for him to say that and tried to console myself.
Nothing is more shocking to find out that actually a very trusted friend didnt believe in you in the first place. Telling you lies in order to physco you so you will come out of the pitt of depression doesnt help at all when you actually know its not sincere and a Lie is still a lie..
Argh...i cant think rationaly, I really cant.
Help me to see that things are different now. That all the things he said has a reason..I am so upset..
Something happened yesterday that was unforgettable. My first time taking the ferry over to Tev's place riding a bike. Had a pleasant conversation with an Uncle whose motor is just next to me. He has indirectly distracted me from the dizziness and nauseaness from the ferry ride.
Had our fav vegetarian 'chu cha' in Chai Leng Park and went for a walk in Carrefour. Checking out some Sony Ericson phone and I still like750i....Sigh.....when will it be in my hands?
Found out something that I never knew yesterday hurt me a lot. With people that I regard friendly, actually are the ones that such comments will come out from their mouth. Even though it has been a long time ago,it still affected me. I chose to rationalize the reason for him to say that and tried to console myself.
Nothing is more shocking to find out that actually a very trusted friend didnt believe in you in the first place. Telling you lies in order to physco you so you will come out of the pitt of depression doesnt help at all when you actually know its not sincere and a Lie is still a lie..
Argh...i cant think rationaly, I really cant.
Help me to see that things are different now. That all the things he said has a reason..I am so upset..
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Being touched
I had an exhausted week. Had a long conversation with Tev last nite. Was so exhauted and can barely open my eyes. Was feeling really down and stressed due to so many things that has been going on.
From rushing from one place to the other to find the possible trigger and problems. I was merely expressing my concern and fears about somethings. Tev couldnt understand and giving me some solution, telling me to backup on certain things. I think I am just as confused and afraid of my actions and thoughts. Not sure what is right or wrong anymore.
He was very frustrated with me not telling him and is very worried with me. He doesnt want me to have any added pressure. I simply want him to listen to my rant rather than giving me a solution. Well, I feel very touched with his concern and I sense his genuinity. DEspite that, I fail to express what are the things that i fear and what I feel to him. I simply cant tell not because I dont want too...but rather just cant to translate my feelings into words.
At the end of the day, i shut my eyes knowing I am loved and cared, but on the other hand, i feel shitty knowing someone will wonder bout my troubles and not able to concentrate on the things at hand. Sorry Tev. I know u wont be reading this. Want to tell you this anyway...Thank you for caring for me..
From rushing from one place to the other to find the possible trigger and problems. I was merely expressing my concern and fears about somethings. Tev couldnt understand and giving me some solution, telling me to backup on certain things. I think I am just as confused and afraid of my actions and thoughts. Not sure what is right or wrong anymore.
He was very frustrated with me not telling him and is very worried with me. He doesnt want me to have any added pressure. I simply want him to listen to my rant rather than giving me a solution. Well, I feel very touched with his concern and I sense his genuinity. DEspite that, I fail to express what are the things that i fear and what I feel to him. I simply cant tell not because I dont want too...but rather just cant to translate my feelings into words.
At the end of the day, i shut my eyes knowing I am loved and cared, but on the other hand, i feel shitty knowing someone will wonder bout my troubles and not able to concentrate on the things at hand. Sorry Tev. I know u wont be reading this. Want to tell you this anyway...Thank you for caring for me..
Being touched
I had an exhausted week. Had a long conversation with Tev last nite. Was so exhauted and can barely open my eyes. Was feeling really down and stressed due to so many things that has been going on.
From rushing from one place to the other to find the possible trigger and problems. I was merely expressing my concern and fears about somethings. Tev couldnt understand and giving me some solution, telling me to backup on certain things. I think I am just as confused and afraid of my actions and thoughts. Not sure what is right or wrong anymore.
He was very frustrated with me not telling him and is very worried with me. He doesnt want me to have any added pressure. I simply want him to listen to my rant rather than giving me a solution. Well, I feel very touched with his concern and I sense his genuinity. DEspite that, I fail to express what are the things that i fear and what I feel to him. I simply cant tell not because I dont want too...but rather just cant to translate my feelings into words.
At the end of the day, i shut my eyes knowing I am loved and cared, but on the other hand, i feel shitty knowing someone will wonder bout my troubles and not able to concentrate on the things at hand. Sorry Tev. I know u wont be reading this. Want to tell you this anyway...Thank you for caring for me..
From rushing from one place to the other to find the possible trigger and problems. I was merely expressing my concern and fears about somethings. Tev couldnt understand and giving me some solution, telling me to backup on certain things. I think I am just as confused and afraid of my actions and thoughts. Not sure what is right or wrong anymore.
He was very frustrated with me not telling him and is very worried with me. He doesnt want me to have any added pressure. I simply want him to listen to my rant rather than giving me a solution. Well, I feel very touched with his concern and I sense his genuinity. DEspite that, I fail to express what are the things that i fear and what I feel to him. I simply cant tell not because I dont want too...but rather just cant to translate my feelings into words.
At the end of the day, i shut my eyes knowing I am loved and cared, but on the other hand, i feel shitty knowing someone will wonder bout my troubles and not able to concentrate on the things at hand. Sorry Tev. I know u wont be reading this. Want to tell you this anyway...Thank you for caring for me..
Friday, May 19, 2006
At the wrong place n time
Everything happens for a reason.Its ironic that you happenned to be there at the right time and seems to get involve in things which you will rather not. Hmm, not sure the timing is so right that I now acts as the medium for a lot of information.
This whole week has been really tiring and frustating. For starters, the earliest I get to sleep is past midnite. Have alwayst been a late sleeper but due to my internship, my working hours are freaking long. 9-6pm. By the time you reach home and past through the massive jam, you will be physically and emotionally worn out.
Been seeing Tevan nearly everyday because of a friend whom we are all concerned for.Sigh, at the moment, we are feeling so helpless at the moment. Hmmm, I pray that everything will work out fine.
Stressed up.
This whole week has been really tiring and frustating. For starters, the earliest I get to sleep is past midnite. Have alwayst been a late sleeper but due to my internship, my working hours are freaking long. 9-6pm. By the time you reach home and past through the massive jam, you will be physically and emotionally worn out.
Been seeing Tevan nearly everyday because of a friend whom we are all concerned for.Sigh, at the moment, we are feeling so helpless at the moment. Hmmm, I pray that everything will work out fine.
Stressed up.
At the wrong place n time
Everything happens for a reason.Its ironic that you happenned to be there at the right time and seems to get involve in things which you will rather not. Hmm, not sure the timing is so right that I now acts as the medium for a lot of information.
This whole week has been really tiring and frustating. For starters, the earliest I get to sleep is past midnite. Have alwayst been a late sleeper but due to my internship, my working hours are freaking long. 9-6pm. By the time you reach home and past through the massive jam, you will be physically and emotionally worn out.
Been seeing Tevan nearly everyday because of a friend whom we are all concerned for.Sigh, at the moment, we are feeling so helpless at the moment. Hmmm, I pray that everything will work out fine.
Stressed up.
This whole week has been really tiring and frustating. For starters, the earliest I get to sleep is past midnite. Have alwayst been a late sleeper but due to my internship, my working hours are freaking long. 9-6pm. By the time you reach home and past through the massive jam, you will be physically and emotionally worn out.
Been seeing Tevan nearly everyday because of a friend whom we are all concerned for.Sigh, at the moment, we are feeling so helpless at the moment. Hmmm, I pray that everything will work out fine.
Stressed up.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Dying Trades
Today marks the 3rd day of my internship in Intact Communications, a magazine publishing house in Penang. My MA does not require me to do industrial training. Being the so called Responsible Malaysia youth who shouldnt be 'lepaking' around and to spend my semester break 'wisely',here I am as an intern to write for the magazine. Initially, I wanted to do design but it was not advisable as I do not have any design background.
Well, my first assignment was to write on Thai massage. My supervisor,aka ex housemates,Cheryl has edited my piece for more than 3 times already. Hahaha, for a beginner I dont think I did that bad la..
Something happened to a friend recently and I am quite upset about it. I hope he manages to get out of the depression.
Went out for interviews and in search of the dying trade of Penang. Managed to interview the traditional songkok maker. The traditional goldsmith and latern maker wanted me to come back next week.
My job here is getting exciting. Hahaha, at least I do not dread to come to work so much..
Been some time since I last blog...Just realised my title was Finding the Writer in me. Hopefully, by the end of this training, I will be able to write better...
:)
Well, my first assignment was to write on Thai massage. My supervisor,aka ex housemates,Cheryl has edited my piece for more than 3 times already. Hahaha, for a beginner I dont think I did that bad la..
Something happened to a friend recently and I am quite upset about it. I hope he manages to get out of the depression.
Went out for interviews and in search of the dying trade of Penang. Managed to interview the traditional songkok maker. The traditional goldsmith and latern maker wanted me to come back next week.
My job here is getting exciting. Hahaha, at least I do not dread to come to work so much..
Been some time since I last blog...Just realised my title was Finding the Writer in me. Hopefully, by the end of this training, I will be able to write better...
:)
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