Passion for Acting

When I was in my primary school, I was in the DRAMA society while my other friends choose girl scouts or language clubs. So I was exposed to acting at a very young age.

Even though I didn't participated much while I was in High School, my life was rather full of drama. So I guess that would complete my resume in my 'acting' career. Kidding.

Then while in F6, I always make the teachers and classmates roared in laughter when I pretended to be 5 of the teachers who taught us in F6. Each had their own characteristic and way of teaching. There, I knew I was a drama queen.

University was a whole lot better when I get to choose a subject to Major and Minor in. I took Film as my major and thought long and hard on what to minor in. I gave psychology a try for one semester and calls it quits after learning some points from Sigmund Freud which caused me to be more confused than ever. Hence, my one subject in acting class 1 was so fun and lured me into minoring in performance arts which I have never regretted.

I took part in plays in church, mission trip, Christian Fellowship and etc.
Now, our church is planning to have a skit and I volunteered with joy.
I hope after a few years of lapsing in hibernating mode, it will rekindle my passion in acting and
drama.

:)

Breakthrough is coming

I decided not to go Singapore after a slow talk with hubby.
We do not have the means at the moment and we are going to
Sabah on the third weekend of June.

Anyway, I had the peace of not going even though I feel a little sad.
I believe Jesus knows best as the worship team needed hubby.
I just found out after I decided not to go.. Jesus timing is perfect.

I am currently planning and practicing for our mission trip to Sabah.
There are many things on my plate and I'm starting to prepare myself
emotionally,spiritually and physically..

Oh did I mention that I am trying to loose weight. I read that obesity
can prevent one of getting pregnant. SO I have to loose 10% of my total
weight to increase my chances of being preggie.

Anyway, I believe Jesus timing is the best. And HE has given me the wisdom
to loose some weight and exercising has becoming easier..

Hubby lost a lot of weight, and he is my so called trainer.
Watched too much of Biggest Loser..

I sensed a breakthrough is going to happen sooon..
I waiting Lord..:)

Worship in New Creation Church Singapore

Hubby had the desired to take a drive somewhere. He said let's take a drive to KL. I said sure!!! Me being the one who loves traveling leapt with joy. And my brains starts working out where should we go and what should we do. WE decided to visit Adeline and her family and all is set. There was a miscommunication with Adeline as she tot we were going last weekend as we are only going on the next. However, the changed of plan paved way to the drive down south instead.

I said."Ok, let's go to Singapore. I want to visit New Creation Church. The last I went was more than 6 years ago."

Hubby was reluctant as the Singapore Dollar exchange rate is crazily high. (S$2.43)
HE told me he doesnt have any cash to bring me. We can always go another time.

BUT I WANT TO GO, YOU SAID U WANT TO TAKE A DRIVE.. NOW WE CANT GO?!!!!!!!!!!
I shrieked like a 5 year old child. I stomped away angrily, not talking to hubby for at least a day.

"I'm sorry I can't bring you. I'm sad to see you sad," Hubby was apologetic.

There I go, with my WALL as high and wide as the WALL OF CHINA. I didn't even looked at hubby, and never mentioned a word. Just in my own ANGER, DISAPPOINTMENT, with Hubby, with myself..with GOD.

Lord, WHY are we still in LACK? WHY WHY WHY?????
I am supposed to live and enjoy abundant life. WHY WHY WHY?
A simple thing like going to SG can turn so ugly. And I question myself and Jesus..

I got a simple answer, "What can you ask more? A husband who loves JESUS."
There was no reply from me. I just have to be patient.

It was sad and frustrating. And its the same for hubby, I can see it on his face.

YET, I am a MULE..Stubborn headed. I am still wanting to go..
I want to receive from JESUS in NCC.

Jesus is my provider.!!!

In a blink of an eye

Recently, been meeting up with schoolmates and also friends whom I was closed to during my younger days. During the meet-ups and chatters, half the things they mentioned seem to slip off my mind and it took me some time to recall the incident.

June told me last weekend, "Elina, on my 18th bday, you cycled to my house and we went to the park. You thanked me for bringing you to Christian camps and never stop encouraging you about Jesus. I will never forget that day."

I looked at her with the puzzled look on my face. I said I truly can't remember that.

Another good friend, Gary who said I was not there for him when he needed me most during the
split with his gf. I said really? I didn't know that I will be a stumbling block to people who are around me.

It saddens me to know that I wasn't there for him when he needed me most. After some self searching I realised that this memory lapsed of mine has begun at the tender age of 9 where I will mentally and emotionally block incidents, people that has hurt me in one way or another.

Even today, I cannot remember what have I done last 2 weeks but I will need a few minutes to search my memory bank to recall what has happened. This emotions makes me feel lost, unconnected to the outside word.

I feel like having autism which is self inflicted. The wall that I have built over the years has not only cost many good friendships, it has definitely separated me from the people who truly cares and loves me. Now, I am basically living in my own world. Where I will sleep through the challenges that come my way.

A breakthrough is needed in my life right now. Jesus told me, a breakthrough will happen soon and there is going to be pain. Where everyth that is not of Him will be shattered into pieces.

I am waiting Lord. Give me the strength and courage when this breakthrough happens.
I know I can trust in a GOD who loves me to bits and a Father who knows me before I was in formed in my mother's womb.

I surrender Lord, all of me, my past, my present and my future.