Wanting a miracle

Well, this blog used to be a place of my ranting as a teenager, then as a student then of my love life...Then now I am married and obviously, I will talk about marriage life.

Marriage has been good and of course there are ups and downs. But the best thing about being in Christ is that, when the goings get tough, the tough kept going. We have been wanting for a baby since the day we tied the knot and settled as husband and wife. I being only 26 has already prepared myself mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

If you are married and wanting a child, I believe you know what I meant. Every month has been an ordeal, waiting for your period due date. When it comes, you will be upset. If it doesn't then you will be so excited if you are one day late and there goes the pregnancy test. When the pregnancy test showed only 1 line instead of 2, your heart falls to the ground in disappointment. Many months I marked my calender on my 1st day of period. I was so tensed up and physco myself into being pregnant. Wow, I wouldnt dare count the numerous pregnancy test I bought and tried.

Disappointment after disappointment. My period had been irregular since I was young, hence I wouldnt really know or be sure that I missed my period or when I am most fertile. After a year, I finally went to the gynae to check. I am thankful that there is nothing wrong with me. Heheh just that my ovaries are not ovulating and the doc said I should be pregnant in 6 months. If not, see him again.

Well, it has been about 7 weeks since I last saw the doc. I seriously feel pregnant and my period is late for 20 days already. I have tested 3 home pregnancy test and it was all negative. Well, I feel like pulling my hair out. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....

Jesus confirmed with me that when every area of my life that is not from Him needs to be broken, then I will get my miracle. Many things has happened since then. My unforgiveness, my pride, and the list go on. Read my woman in progress entry.

Pastor has confirmed that he sense I am a new person. A new beginning. Does that mean I will be having my miracle soon?

I asked hubby recently, "What do you want for your birthday?"
He answered, "A baby."

An answer I didn't expect him to say. I thought he would have wanted a new house, a new car or even a new speaker for the laptop.

I didn't answer. Just a pause from me. How can I give him a baby? It's not even in my means and there is nothing I can do but to trust in Jesus.
I know that in His time, He makes all things beautiful.

And yes, I want to carry a miracle in my womb.
I should be seeing the gynae pretty soon or just do a blood test.

I shall wait upon YOu LORD..
Wait...........

Olio- Rennaissance Melaka

Hubby's birthday was around the corner and wanted to bring him to a special place for dinner.
Since we are from a small historical town, every other restaurant has been visited and most of the hotels buffet are not too great for us to be even tempted to go.

While stopping at the Rennaisance junction when the traffic was Red. Read the advertisement with discount for the birthday person according to his age..I was like WOW, this is a must go place. Called and made the reservation for 5 cos thinking Pae, Mike and Jerry will join us. They all cant make it due and left the two of us.

The place was dim with romantic environment. Feel a bit 'sua ku' with the italian menu. Wow, the price on the menu is suffocating. Literally made me gulp in my throat and for the first time my mental calculator was at work. I was thinking it's ok la.. We will get 39% discount on everyth since hubby is 39. Hehe, I ordered a set menu dinner for one which cost RM 130++ again thinking i will get 39% off. Ordered lasagna and hubby had a wine buffet which cost RM 59++.

We had a candle on our table and were served with fresh oven baked bread. Well, the manager put some olive oil and vinegar and I reckon must be for us to dip the bread in. Wow, such peculiar taste but it was yummy.

Overall, the food was good. Not FANTASTIC but the service is of excellent. The manager surprised my husband with a slice of cake with a candle and they came over to our table to sing a song for him. That really made his day.

This is place is really good for special occasions and I seriously can go back there just for the wine buffet. Only the white wine are chilled and the reds are at room temperature. Hubby finished a bottle and a half of white..

It was definitely a memorable evening..
Blessed birthday baby..:)
May Jesus grant the desires of your heart.

A Woman in Progress

I have not been writing much as I was busy with entertaining guest from China and we went to Genting and KL for 5 days. It was a rather tiring trip.

Well, I would say the main reason is that I dislike penning down unhappy thots. The past 2-3 weeks has been a roller coaster in my emotions and in my spirit. My negativity, my unforgiveness, my overly sensitive spirit, my pride, my ego, my jealousy, my focus on man, and overall my stubbornness has caused me to loose focus and blamed everyone but myself with the things I see unfit and that's happening in my life.

I thank Jesus for being patient with me and every so gracious in my life. Every area need to be dealt before I can move move on to the next spiritual level. My Personal Time (PT) last nite with Ps.Ed has been an eye opener. I never realised I have closed my heart and be such a stubborn mule not to see my weakness. I praise Jesus for the revelations He has given me and the new things he is beginning to do in my life.

I thank Jesus for precious good friends who were there to encourage me, rebuke me, advise me and give me a hard knock when they know I am not in the right mind. Indeed, I am experiencing FREEDOM and Rest. A rest that I have never had all my life.

I am anticipating the new person I am growing to be. As I mentioned in my previous post that there is someth else that needs a breakthrough...I believe I have received the breakthrough.

Wow. Such Revelation. Such NEWness the Lord is allowing me to enjoy.
Indeed, I had been the 100th sheep, Where the shrpherd will abandon the 99 to look just for me.
When he found me, all tired, all lost, all hungy, all dirty from the wandering to unknown and unsafe territory, He put me on his shoulder and take me home to where I belong.

Then He throw a party to celebrate the lost sheep that has been found. WOW..Not even sitting down to nag and scold me for my misbehavior. He CELEBRATED!!!!!!!

Wow such powerful revelation.

A I am woman in progress and I will soar like an EAGLE as my JESUS is leading me there.
WIthout a Shepherd I would be lost. I know He is holding my hand guiding me.